8. Keen on Qein: Part 4


In which we traverse the endless nightmarescape, feel empathy, and come to blows

Our DM is  Sasha Rose Hansen 

The players, in alphabetical order:

Carbry -  Bryn Ziegler 

Gary -  Rebecca Michelson 

Renora -  Tori Chancellor 

Spencer Charlemagne -  Jacob Earl 

Tongs - Grayson Abele

We’re produced by Jacob Earl 

Our theme music is “Rathgars Theme” and is available through  LateMoonRecords.com 

Tune in next week at  RathgarsHorde.com  and as always, try not to die 

Spencers Diary Eight

I fucking hate dreams. But I might be getting ahead of myself. The golem turned my brass coins into a little brass teapot — but using some kind of, forge magic? Not regular blacksmithing. Then we drank some drugs the bridge guardian gave us, and we slipped into the land of dreams. Dream land. The Dream Dimension. Etc. Before we left we used a scarf and the teapot to make 5 vials (2.5 cups) of coffee that I distributed thusly:

2 - Demon

1 - Monk

1 - me

1- Trip the Bard

The golem can’t drink and the giant didn’t think they could do it. My thought was that if we went into the Realm Of Dreams with real coffee we could like, wake up & jolt ourselves back. I never got to test this. 

First, we landed in a spooky glade of dark trees. There was nothing really around. I tired to make a knife – To just, imagine something into existence. I could feel it, but it never popped into being. My concept was that I could create a key that could open any lock, but I couldn’t even make a knife. I almost had it. While I was doing that I kind of forgot why we were there and we Zapped into an observatory. The monk started crying —I think this was her place, it was filled with maps and telescopes and stars, much like her skin. But there were no maps that seemed useful. And no telescopes I could carry. There was a door that led into the void, and as we looked around a very spooky voice started yelling at us. This, I think, was the demon that’s possessing the monk. That girls a real weather-vane for possessionWhich is ironic because she’s always telling me about how she “doesn’t own anything” and “has no possessions” (fucking ascetics gentrifying poverty). The demon voice spooked us all so we joined hands? This is how the realm of dreams works: go in a group, and all focus (eek) on the same thing and that’s the direction you go. We were all supposed to be thinking about the “dream bandits” but I’m not sure I was doing it right. 

The next place was another glen, a clearing in a forest of giant trees. This one was the giants dream. Ahead was a tree with a hole in it that could shelter someone big, & out of the hole came a Dark Mantle which is a big, valuable, flying squid thing. I tried to get Harold to tell it we’re cool — but he just hid.  Which made seeing kind of tough. Here are the things I hate about dreams: The uncertainty, the weird time, how people are both there and not there, the horrible and unlikely scenarios that are thinly veiled metaphors I nevertheless can never decipher, this was like that but the dream was not my own. So we fought the beast – I shot it, it spread a pitch darkness — but a red star appeared on its chest. Oh shit. I think that was the fifth raider. Anyways somebody magicked a big red star on it, which made shooting it not all that tough. We all shot and killed at it. 

What was strange was that once it was dead the giant started burying it with leaves. Like a funeral. For a monster. Which I understand from an animism, perspective, but there’s a lot of useful stuff you can get off a dark mantle. I thINK you can make a potion of blindsight? To be able to see without eyes? I need that shit. So when the Giant wasn’t looking I stole some of its eyes. They’re probably gonna kick my ass when they find out. 

Now we went to a lava field. It wasn’t unbearably hot but there were crack of lava beneath the cooled stone. The one was bad. This one had the vibe of one of my dreams, but I think it was the golems. There was a dead man at our feet wearing a red star amulet, who had a branch growing out of his head & a gross purple hand. We were all looking at this corpse when the fog came in and a will o’ the wisp called the golem into the dark & he took off like a fox with an ant up its ass. I yelled at him a lot that it was a will o’ the wisp but he didn’t listen - and when he caught up to it it was just a wisp in a lantern, laughing like mad. The golem seems pretty shook up. Trip became protective of the golem and stood back to back with him, saying “I’ve got your back” Which looked funny because the golem is a foot taller and BEEFY

Next one we were in Basil & Aubino’s! That shop on ether that got all busted up and closed. The burglars all ended up dead I wonder if the demon did it! Maybe I can help her solve the crime – this also explains why she’s so mad at me, she prob thinks I jacked her jam. I didn’t, but I bet I could find out who did. Smash and grab is one step above the cops man - no art. Then the wall started closing in & I grabbed some rings. Three to be precise, tied to like, elements or something.  The demon let me keep the water one.  The demon was gonna steal them back from but I just, offered the other two back. I wanted to keep the water one it seemed like a catch. 

The last dream place was the bridge of the sleeper, but in classic dream fashion it was and it wasn’t. There was a big gate, like the bridge of stars blocking one side, and in front of it were the dream bandits. They looked ROUGH AS HELL. They looked like they’d gone through a shredder or fallen into a grab bag of spare limbs or something. The team subdued them while I snuck around one side & they had a normal looking captured princess type. This part gets all mixed up in my mind but I’ll try and get the highlights. While the gang, the princess, & I, were here as effigies Psychic Projections, the bandits are there in the flesh — which I immediately clocked as the reason for their disgusting mutations. This is a psychic space, people living shouldn’t be here. This is also why I abandoned any hope of the coffee working, because even if it yanked us out it would leave these saps behind. And that doesn’t fly for me. It seemed like everything was basically under control so I untied the princess (whose name is Cassandra and holds the office of “Reader” of the spire of sleep. Arrest her or kill her, I don’t care). And everyone instantly started arguing. the princess, it turns out, is a bloodthirsty bitch piece of shit. She started in on us to kill the raiders — who had kidnapped her somehow, before being double crossed and to left to die here by whoever helped them get in — we all started arguing, and it got pretty heated. The monk says that she killed a kid but “repented” — but a real bad ghost demon popped out of her & started laughing. I don’t know what I was thinking, she was doing a total dick to me, and I saw clearly that she was a bloodthirsty bully, like the princess. So I tried to run her through with my sword. She thinks she’s so untouchable. I kind of blacked out after that I was so mad. 

Cassandra screeched something at me and I explained how I tried to manifest a knife, and then we joined hands and manifested a cart, and then we? Spread the Cart onto the gate? And it turned to cotton? It was very weird. When I tried to stab the monk the demon got in the way. The golem healed her right up but thats fourish people I’ve pissed off today. 

Oh shit I forgot! I gave the golem the krunk (my water bottle turned to liquor in the bag of brolding) and he got DRUNK! So did trip but he’s like, a guy. 

Jacob EarlComment