5. Keen on Qein: Part 1


In which a new frontier is opened, the gang goes on a safari, and the circus comes to town. 

Our DM is  Sasha Rose Hansen 

The players, in alphabetical order:

Carbry -  Bryn Ziegler 

Gary -  Rebecca Michelson 

Renora -  Tori Chancellor 

Spencer Charlemagne -  Jacob Earl 

Tongs - Grayson Abele

We’re produced by Jacob Earl 

Our theme music is “Rathgars Theme” and is available through  LateMoonRecords.com 

Tune in next week at  RathgarsHorde.com  and as always, try not to die 

Spencers Diary, five

Writing is weird when you have 1000 eyes. It’s hard to focus. That poison the doc used to knock me out fucked up my sleep real bad – I woke up (according to the child) at like 0400. My life has become a JacksonSpire Twins Mystery, waking up early and being transported to alternate dimensions! I think I pissed the child off — rang the bell too many times and she stopped answering. But I spent the morning brushing up on magic, I can only remember the fundamental shit, academy was a long time ago. Got some illusions nailed down & a spell to identify things, which should come in handy because we come across so much mysterious shit


This portal was different, not a gate to be walked through, but a pool with a walkway that curved away down and in on a strange angle that messed with my head. I tried to dive in, but I fell through wrong and hit the ground kind of hard. This new world “Qein” is vertical, and ~spherical?~ which begs the question - how does everything stay on and not just slide off? We arrived in a giant cavern, sorta. The air was, is, thick with dust and everything is brown and tall grass and these huge towers of stone. The air is so dry I worry about Harold.


Although mysteriously I had 2 more scarves in my bag. I tied one around his little body to keep dirt out of his mouth.

We spotted movement out on the plain so we went out to look, the tall grass made it pretty easy to sneak, which I really liked. Even if it is really dusty it’s nice to be really outside again. We all got scarves, The Golem tried to give me his, but this morning I tried to give him some coffee and he said it would corrode his insides, the gears and magic crystals. So I said to keep it, because if coffee hits that bad who knows what alien dust’ll do. The Movement in the distance was a pride of “Spions” (temp word, my own.) Lions with big spikes all down their spines. The Golem called them a “herd” and we all laughed because they looked like big cats and cats don’t travel in herds. That was a good laugh. That didn’t seem to be much we could do about the Spions so we climbed up the spire.

The Monk had a hell of a time climbing, there was a natural ladder but one really needed shoes to climb it without slipping off, eventually The Giant carried her. The next platform up resembled the previous, but this one had a plume of smoke in the distance. As we walked towards there was a rustle in the grass and I snuck off to see — it was a bear! A great big bear! Also with spikes. It saw me and Harold but didn’t do anything, just looked at us. I don’t think these what - spears? Are very dangerous. Just spooky.

The smoke resolved into a town, and before we arrived I briefed The Gang on a number of my previous schemes, expanded for a gang of five. The clear winner was a circus, which played into many of our strengths. I set myself as the ringmaster and titular ‘Rathgar‘ (a name of The Giant’s invention) of “Rathgar’s Traveling Circus Of Wonder and Magic!” And we made our grand entrance into, and I am not kidding, the town of “KittenBunch” and an audience of one, the halfling innkeep. The Innkeep was mighty impressed and set us a time and location for our performance, that night at dusk and a pallet in the square. She also mentioned a bard who was in town & would also be doing a show–but I forgot to ask where he was.

KittenBunch is town of approximately three buildings. Some kind of hall, the inn, and a miniature toyshop run by an overeager dwarf who talks like an idiot child. His shop carried no histories, interesting kids books, or maps with named locations. This is the “Spire of Innocence” Which I would title more accurately the spire of ~ignorance.~ These are famers, but what they farm I never saw. There is only one child, the toymakers daughter. Do they value childishness so highly they never fuck? Or are they so inbred as to be infertile — their small-mindedness trapping them within the confines of their miniature world? The Infanta is half blind, I saw her at the show. We in fact performed in her honor, she is regarded as mythic. This is via our new friend, the fire genasi bard. He caught us just before the show, pissed we were blowing up his spot, and tried to set us straight, edging me out of the ringleader spot in the process. I hadn’t thought of an act because I just assumed I’d be the MC and set everyone else up, but the bard stepped in there. Performed well, but threw me for a loop. I tried some magic, but it didn’t sell. The Giant and The Demon did some sick acrobatics, and The Monk pretended to be a giant fairy and floated up in the air somehow, which all went over great. But at the end was the showstopper, The Golem. He set a rock on fire, then shot it up in the air and blew up up with magic. It was super sick and I loved it. As did The Infanta who clapped and said “more more again!” So he went do it again, but this town was in the middle of a vast dry field so real fire was out. The Demon set this second one on illusory flame, and I made it make an unlikely sound as it flew through the air, like a whistle spinning up. That one sound was better than my entire act, and I really got a kick out of it. This was all well and good, but when The Golem called down a beam from god to set to this explode this little rock, well, it exploded, and set a whole field on fire. It burned itself out, but the townspeople got real real quiet. We took a bow and I tried to do some crowd work but The Demon slung me over her shoulders like a sack of potatoes! Rude! She’s only a LITTLE taller than me she shouldn’t be able do that I gotta start, eating more or working out or something. We walked off into the dark for awhile and made camp, no fire. And I’m on watch, writing this. The bard came with us, he is okay cute, from someplace else some fire thing, and is wearing leather pants and I know exactly where his coin pouch is.

Jacob EarlComment