26.s3.e13: Christening the Kraken
In which The Horde climbs the ladder, walks the road, and makes a friend.
Our DM is Sasha Rose Hansen
The players, in alphabetical order:
Amber - Chloë Meynardie
Carbry - Bryn Ziegler
Gary - Rebecca Michelson
Spencer Charlemagne - Jacob Earl
Tongs - Grayson Abele
We’re produced by Jacob Earl
Our theme music is “Rathgars Theme” and is available through LateMoonRecords.com
Tune in next week at RathgarsHorde.com and as always, we may be cursed, but I promise will make it through alive.
i cant break up this perfect spread — drawn by bryn!!
Spencer’s Diary
The Golem woke us up with a crazy revelation — in the night he’d been spirited away outside time to some kind of dream realm (different from the dream dimension visited previous) where the monk is, apparently, fine and living with the demon Kaedys. He described Kaedys as being spiny, elven, grey, and sharp. They were in there because the fae dragon Alice was hunting the Monk, and Kaedys ‘Rescued’ her. The monk summoned the golem’s spirit to help her escape this pocket realm, which did not work because this is a fae wild sort of place. They fought some monsters, who petrified the monk, and in retaliation Kaedys un-petrified them but gave the monk demonic features, and locked her down harder. There were other adventures, which I did not pay attention to, but crucially the way out was in the fruit of a jade tree. He doesn’t think the monk is in any danger. The Golem had her gold and her symbol, so I don’t think we will be stuck here, thank Corellon.
The ship is stuck firmly in the wall, no way I could get it free even with all these wizards. I tossed the curséd sword the golem found into the sea and we began our climb back up, which was a real sonovabitch, but I got to ride on the Giants back with ruled. The one path we didn’t take that led up led only to a room storing dragon parts, so we retraced our steps which was absolutely not the way I thought we should do it because of all the slides we slid down and chasms we created on the way down, but the wizards really broke out some hot new spells which would’ve been really very useful yesterday, like in this one place the giant walked on the walls, and the Demon made the Golem LIGHTER THAN AIR. Since we were doubling back the door I opened yesterday where lava fell on me leads to a room full of stalagmites — rock formations that grow from the ground caused by water dripping on them from above or water that flows up — and a rope bride. The Golem flew off over the bridge because he could only fly for a short time, and I broke off the tip of a stalagmite for my curse. The golem came back with some dragon masks and we went back up the ladder, but we saw a room we hadn’t noticed on the way down which, ill admit, I did set off a trap where a bid boulder almost crushed us but it DIDN’T crush us, so. The room halfway up the ladder was full of a giant blue crystal that freaked the kobold out and made her say a bunch of stuff about it being the ‘seat of her power’ or whatever. It was the same sort of crystal as those that I found in the wolves, so I think they might have some sort of, elemental energy in them? Anyway it was nice to get out of those caves and back in the sun.
— On the Road —
I found a pack buried in the ground, fresh. It had some gold which I took and three minor health potions that I distributed.
The Shop in Leave
The demon and the giant laid out all our treasures — and the bastard wanted more than we agreed for the boat. Those artifacts were firmly worth 10 grand in any market. But I gave him the sea-elf longbow I found that makes you swim faster. He seemed happy with that.
The Road To Illaren
Leave → Cranson: Game trails, the demon had some bad berries and threw up a lot. The Golem found three toed tracks in the snow. The Giant made two greater health potions and one regular one.
Cranson → Frostwinter: I’ve been practicing my ukulele, and I’m getting medium-good. Middling. The golem found an overturned cart with a bunch of metal in it, which he seemed pleased with. Carbry’s in the planning stages of making studded leather armor out of the dragon wings, which is cool.
Frostwinter → Beasthome: Beasthome? The giant got stung by bees a lot. They look. Rough.
Beasthome → Illaren: On the Road – we notice a group of roughs tailing us, the demon proposed that we “Spar“ as a show of strength, but she meant that she would shoot spells at me — THAT’S NOT SPARRING! SPARRING IS LIKE, FISTICUFFS OR KNIVES! NOT DUELLING!!
While everyone was arguing about how best to intimidate these fools and show we’re not to be robbed, I snuck over to have a look. My idea was that I would set on of them on fire and they’d start fighting each other, but they caught me immediately. I should’ve used mage hand or something. Anyway the giant showed up looking like a spoon and the demon showed up all lightning and scary and they ran off, which was good.
Ilaren
A large town, grey stone buildings, canals. Lots of people, too many animals! Just a crazy amount of animals. We’re staying in “The Crows Rest” which is a little inn. Ilalren rules They’ve got wine, they’ve got beds, theres no mob, I got a KILLER deal on thread. Great place. The purveyor of the crows rest’s sister is a gardener in the rich part of sdelka tending primarily to palm trees I said we’d say hi when we go “back home” (I told him we were from sdelka). Anyway this wine tastes, great, a little fishy? Like, it tastes like fish sort of —
The diary here is obscured the words “ILLAREN’S FISH WINE IS NOT BAD AFTER LIKE 15 OF THEM” Written large and by the same hand, but looser. It picks up later:
The bard who was singing and playing the lyre came up to talk to us a bottle of win in and I do not remember what we talked about but she keeps following us. 2’8”, halfling. Shoulder length hair, bangs, dark generally. Tattoos on hands. Very quiet in movement.
SHOPPING LIST
☐ lots of rigging
☐ sailcloth
☑ citrus
☐ wood working kit
☑ silver thread — 10
☐ accordion? x
☑ as much info on illaren as I can get
☐ planks
☑ cask of wine
☑ small iron cage
☑ Paints
☑ purple
☑ blue
☑ white
☑ orange
☑ small set table ware
The Kraken is made of magic so I don’t need the planks and rope, but I got extra enchanting thread. I got a cask of something called ‘Fae Wine’ which I haven}t had yet, I got some paints to paint eyes onto ship and its name. I also got a book in common from the book store, a hand-painted book of “Folk tales for Children”. Some stories I recognize, others I don’t. I found out there}s a law against trading smart animals, and that no-one at the zoo had heard of a “Beast with 100 eyes”. The city is a city-state ruled by an imperium which is like an unelected congress, theres no one king. Theres no mob, and the primary trade is in exotic animals which you wouldn’t think would be the big business it apparently is. I got a bag of some kind of citrus I don’t recognize.
On Eying a Ship
A living thing needs legs, to propel it, feet to direct its path, a mouth to speak and to fill its belly, eyes to see with, and last a name.
The legs are the sails, the foot the rudder, a name it has already, and we are its mouth. So I am painting eyes — so that the Kraken may guide us and keep us. The ship has more arms than any creature I have ever seen, save Harold, so I Say it is a kind of beast as he and thus I am giving the kraken his eyes.