18.s3.e5: The Bone Throne
In which the gang tears a dress, examines a shaft, and doesn’t skip leg day
Our DM is Sasha Rose Hansen
The players, in alphabetical order:
Carbry - Bryn Ziegler
Gary - Rebecca Michelson
Renora - Tori Chancellor
Spencer Charlemagne - Jacob Earl
Tongs - Grayson Abele
We’re produced by Jacob Earl
Our theme music is “Rathgars Theme” and is available through LateMoonRecords.com
Tune in next week at RathgarsHorde.com and as always, we may be cursed, but I promise will make it through alive.
We tried to disable the alarm but it was, quite persistent. Eventually the giant beat it to shit & the demon fixed it quiet. But then, a big mechanical bug jumped out of nowhere and landed on the giant and started shooting fire everywhere.
We (mostly the demon and the giant) beat the shit out of that too but as soon as the bug stopped moving the elevator arrived, at this point I had forgotten I’d called it. It was empty of people but full of stuff — I tried to grab a longbow but it hopped up & started shooting people, and a dress hopped into the air too and started trying to smother, well, anyone it could reach.
It caught the monk first but she struggled free, then it caught the demon and she tried to set it on fire from inside, which sort of worked! But mostly it didn’t.
The monk caught an arrow out the fucking air and threw it back at the bow, killing it instantly, which was pretty fuckin killer. And then through collective action the golem and the giant got the dress off the demon and the three of them sort of held it steady and pumped it full of magic while I screamed at them to put it in the anti-magic box we’d picked up earlier and the monk just, sort of hit it ineffectually. Eventually we muscled the thing into the anti-magic box, where it immediately went limp, even when I poured it back onto the ground.
Upon investigation the elevator proved too dangerous to ride up - so I sent it down to the first floor and pried open the doors, (they were lighter than Id expected!) At the top of the shaft was a big dark room with the floor covered in a thick dust that easily showed tracks, not there were any to show.
But when I tried to give the all clear I found I couldn’t speak! There was some kind of silence enchantment on the room.
We spread out, and on the far wall was a halfling man asleep on a throne made of bones, a bone throne if you will. The golem went over and poked him (!), but no dice. I thought “Maybe the darkness is important” so I went and turned the lights on by a handy knob that had been installed in the wall. Let me tell you! That was! A bad move! The kid disappears-this monster necromancer guy shows up! I turn the lights back off! But hes still there! We all can’t speak, its a bad scene! Then the monk disappears but ive still got an eye on here because of, as I said, the thick dust on the floor, and the necro casts some kind fo? Clone spell? And now theres fuckin four of him? I think the necromancer can see the monk too. Ive got a scheme! I’ll offer the necklace. I have this necklace I picked up thats got a ghost trapped in it & I thought if it comes to it I can trade my ‘Soul‘ for our freedom, (but of course its not MY soul its just a soul I HAVE right) anyway - I’m panicking, Ive forgotten the plan in the moment, I’m waving this necklace around. I float this idea to the necromancer in thrives cant, he seems to understand, I’m slowly walking closer, then as Im right up on him I remember! He’s a necromancer! I’m not going to give him a soul of any kind! He can probably use that to kill us all so I stab him the sword and run off and he doesn’t seem to, appreciate, that.
We’re running around, hitting shadow-men with swords, the wizards are fucked because all their spell are spoken, the giant turns into a spoon at one point early on, the demon become a weird looking lizard. Im wreaking a lot of havoc as Im a, y’know, okay melée swordsman. We’re knocking out these clones, I’m searching the room, theres not really anything here its a crazy place, there clearly USED to be things here but now its just dust and bones. At one point I knock over the throne - wherever that little halfling went its not there. Maybe he’s the big scary necromancer but I don’t know. Speaking of the necromancer, he starts blinking in and out, making an attack and disappearing. He doesn’t seem to be running? Everyone else clumps up while I keep looking, I grab a cool skull to lookout later.
Then everything became a big game fo fuckin whack-a-wizard, we hit him, he hits us and disappears. THEN the wizard appears out of nowhere, zaps us all with fucking lightning, (which hurt like hell) the golem goes down, and the wizard disappears. I poured the “Leg day” potion the bag of brolding made on him thinking worst case he’s slippery or his legs get really cool or something (see attached drawing)
AND HE FUCKING DISAPPEARS! I THOUGHT I KILLED HIM
Then the wizard appears again, this time dragging the golem on a chain, and send soem kind of spell out that freezes me so bad I fall asleep for a second, but then I wake up and the necromancer is right there, and I stab him so hard he turns to dust. Then I fell asleep again.