15. s3.e2 “I Cant Name This Arc Until I Know The Name Of The Planet”
In which the gang gets slimy, gets wet, and gets a date, in that order
Our DM is Sasha Rose Hansen
The players, in alphabetical order:
Carbry - Bryn Ziegler
Gary - Rebecca Michelson
Renora - Tori Chancellor
Spencer Charlemagne - Jacob Earl
Tongs - Grayson Abele
We’re produced by Jacob Earl
Our theme music is “Rathgars Theme” and is available through LateMoonRecords.com
Tune in next week at RathgarsHorde.com and as always, we may be cursed, but I promise will make it through alive.
spencers diary, fifteen
Emersonville is empty … of people. None of the facilities work, these people are long gone. I thought to find some empty vials in the abandoned pharmacy, but instead I found a smelly gas and big fucking slime. When I cut it with my sword it split in twian like so
Weird god damn things. They’d been getting juiced on the potions down there and when one bit me it burned a hole in my pant leg, I think it was acid. At this point everyone except the monk appeared out of nowhere to help me out. It was pretty tight and the smaller slime was, fairly small, so I had the inspired idea to scoop it into the bag of brolding — which the bag clearly hated. I got it in there though and tossed the whole mess at the fountain in the centre of the square and this icky goo shot out of the open bag (which I imagine is brolded slime) and got stuck In the fountain.
Then the demon lit it on fire which looked pretty cool! But I don’t think that fountain is ever going to recover.
There was one slime left, the bigger one, so the golem, the giant, the demon, and I headed down into the basement beneath the pharmacy. The monk, I think, hates me or something. The other slime was bigger and proved more difficult to handle, for example right off the bat it ate me and I passed out. I woke up as the giant was going around behind me so they didn’t have to see my face if the spell they were about to cast killed me — but I didn’t die! The slime shrivelled up and I slumped to the floor. Hurt like hell whatever they did. The golem healed me up and the demon gave me a bunch of empty vials which lessens the pain a little. We looked around town a little more then hit the road toward “Sdelka” (see attached map)
On the road the demon got bit by bees and the monks stuff got rummaged through by a very weird looking dog with hands?? But no raiders or anything. This place is huge and travelling by foot is very slow. After a couple of days we got in range of the ocean, so we took a a detour to the seaside and let me say. The sea is fucking incredible. It stretches far past the horizon and teems with life, much of it edible. Fish evaded me, but I caught some mussels and crawfish. The demon hung out on the shore even though I kept bringing her stuff and showing her how cool and fun it was.
It’s actually incredible, the water feels like water but you can breathe it like air! If this is how fish live I can see why they stay down there all the time.
While I was fishing the golem snuck up on me and I stabbed him a little, accidentally. He didn’t seem to mind though. I didn’t mean to, he snuck up on me. I thought we’d have to sign to talk underwater, like normal, but! We can talk just fine! It sounds weird but it works.
The giant was talking about Harold’s juice maybe solving curses? So I got a little ocean water and washed Harold in it until it turned orange and washed those coins in it, and they turned back into gems!! So I went over to the golem when we were drying off to see about fixing that cursed sword he’s got stuck to him. I got the giant to make sure he’s not cursed together (he’s not) & dunked the sword and his hand in there. Black tendrils came off, dissipated, and he could drop the sword! Which didn’t work before. I picked the damn thing up with mage hand and chucked it in the ocean, so if you’re walking along the beach near Dawson, don’t pick up any swords you find.
Dawson did not let us in, when we reached their gates, because the demon made us seem brain-damaged. So we pressed on to florentine, then susda. In susda, the golem had a ploy, he asked the woman how she pronounced the name of this planet, because he and I had a bet on how they pronounce it here, which WORKED. This planet is called MEERVODEE. There’s a lot hidden in that gleaming skin.
Then we followed the road up to sdelka & came to the town of “Catz” which is covered in polydactyl cats! I picked up two, neither of which Harold liked or liked Harold, even though all involved were orange. The second cat I handed to the giant, who carried it to the far edge of town where they let it go.
As we got into Sdelka there seemed to be some kind of exodus going on so I hassled a halfling woman, who had a child. A halfling mother I guess. Who turned out to be a cartographer herself, and sold me a map of town (attached) for four gold. Seems a little steep to me.
She also told us people who could were leaving town because there’s been a big curse let loose in the local museum by a mad apprentice! A guard in the street near the museum asked the monk on a DATE? And told us to go to palaces & see if we can get a contract to fight these monsters.